Do Family Values Ever Change?
By Emily Mall —
Feb 26, 2024
My younger brother and his family hung out with us this weekend and agreed to try out the Family Values Workbook with us over cocktails*. (Get it done however you need to get it done! We don’t judge)! 😀
My brother and his wife have two kids under the age of 5, so we were curious how they could utilize the workbook (since we designed it for families with Pivotal kids). Could they figure out their Family Values even amidst the diaper phase?
What they found was that like us, discussing Family Values wasn’t something they’d ever talked about before or even on their radar. And we all admitted it wasn’t something any of our parents discussed with us, um...ever.
However, since they have younger kids, they wondered if the Family Values they picked now would change when their kids got older. Would/could their Family Values change to be what they like or want their Family Values to be in the future versus what it feels like they have to be right now while raising toddlers?
Once we choose what our Family Values are, can they change?
The part in the workbook where you think about your parents or family of origin’s values is super enlightening in answering this question. What was important to your family while you were growing up—whether spoken or unspoken—and did those Family Values ever change?
Here’s what we discovered: My brother and I both separately picked Religion (but not Spirituality- interesting!) as one of our family’s values while we were growing up, because our dad was a pastor and it seemed like our world revolved around church stuff. We both agreed the value changed in our teen years once my dad quit and changed careers.
So, can Family Values change?
Absolutely!
It is in our human nature to continue to change, so why wouldn’t our Family Values?
We designed the workbook as a great opportunity and reason to get you and your family talking about what is important to you. Use it during your monthly family meetings, and if you don’t have monthly family meetings yet, the workbook is a great way to start them! Family meetings are great places for your family to encourage communication and safety talking about tough things like change, the future, etc. (Shh... there might be a Family Meeting Workbook on its way 😜)
And for those of you with little (or no) kids, here’s what my brother and sister-in-law loved about doing the workbook:
It facilitated a helpful conversation they wouldn’t have had otherwise
They liked thinking about what was important to them
They both got a kick out of seeing what values the other chose (they were pleasantly surprised they circled similar values)
Delicious espresso martinis!*
Not only is the Family Values Workbook a great way to start having conversations and create a spirit of connectedness, teamwork, family cohesion, etc., it’s also a great way to start living your best life! Once you’ve tried it, let us know about it!
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